I wrote the song in a pitch black room, depressed, and very hungover. For that reason the song doesn’t follow a straight and narrow path, I’m all over the place. In the beginning I’m questioning myself as an artist, I want to know if it wasn’t for the temptation of suicide always lingering in the back of my mind would I still have substance as an artist.
Listen to the live Interview
GETTING TO KNOW VOICE
by Jacqueline Jax host of A.V.A Live Radio
Voice (Victorious Obligations Inside the Chosen Entity)
The poem that I wrote…
for that day finished with “if only I had a Voice” so I doodled Voice really big on the front of my notebook and gave every letter meaning. That is how I came to be.
I can trace my music down…
to the exact moment that inspired me to start. I watched my brother get stabbed in 2008 and I had to go school the very next morning. I was in school trying to act like nothing was bothering me but on the inside I was sure I had lost everything I knew and loved. During my gym class I left and hid in the locker-room with a pair of headphones and a mp3 player, I turned up the volume all the way and threw it at the wall. The headphones snagged my hoodie and it fell at my feet, still hearing the beat I pulled out a notebook and began to write about how I felt. By the time I was done the bell for my next class had rung and I was rushing not to be tardy. I got home and went straight to the library to download a beat to go with it and I recorded the whole song on my mp3 player with terrible quality that very night. Before I lost my mp3 player I would listen to that song on repeat. Before that incident I wasn’t very into music or television so I didn’t really have any other influences from my past. Most of my modern influences come from my emotions not from specific artists.
I wrote the song in a pitch black room, depressed, and very hungover.
For that reason the song doesn’t follow a straight and narrow path, I’m all over the place. In the beginning I’m questioning myself as an artist, I want to know if it wasn’t for the temptation of suicide always lingering in the back of my mind would I still have substance as an artist. Almost immediately you can see my thoughts stray and I go into defensive mode with the line “don’t mind me I’m” I am pushing people away, then I continue to say “lost in my thoughts, grab the bottle pour a shot” which is seeking self medication from alcohol. From there I use a little bit of word play, “stuck in a rut in my life I’m a knot. Not accepting of my fate.” I use the word knot symbolically to express how tied down I feel.
The next line is my favorite, “What have I made?
An underground Shakespeare that’s scared to make a play” my depression has created this literary craving inside of me to the point where I can’t stop producing music but I’m so scared of being judged for everything that I create it has become a twisted mental habitual masochistic addiction. When I die I want my words and my music to live on for years, I don’t care if I’m remembered so long as my creations live on. It is through those hopes and aspirations that give my life purpose, without it I feel I have no use. Towards the end of the song I start digressing back into my shell and talking about how much better the world would be without me, after all my songs just stir up hate and discontent. The final lines of the song I start expressing anger and feeling rebellious. I state “crucify me when I break, can’t rectify my lifes mistakes” meaning I have become numb to the judgement, I don’t care what you think about what I can’t change. It is at this revelation that I realized I am actually doing good within the world. I end the song with “let you watch every angel cry when I close my eyes and pass away” this sentence embodies the idea that the negative perspective I hold upon myself in this physical dimension, is completely opposite of what the higher powers feel I am doing down here on Earth. Which is why the angels are expressing grief at my passing away from the dimension still misunderstood.
All I want to do is make the world a better place,
I am currently working on a project called #VoiceStudios where I am trying to get recording studios in public places for free so that our youth and our communities will have a way of expressing themselves instead of bottling it up until something provokes its expulsion. I am still making music and I release a new single roughly every month and the unique difference with my music is that you will rarely hear two songs of mine that sound the same. After I released “Sacrifice” I turned around and released “No Slowin’ Down” which is a hype track that was only created to help get the crowd energetic at my live shows. I can guarantee you my next track will have its own identity as well, that’s just how I work.
I currently reside in Oceanside, California
but I am from Topeka, Kansas. I wasn’t as interested in my music when I lived in Kansas as I am now so I can’t give an accurate depiction of the music industry there but I can say with confidence that Topeka holds a lot of great untouched talent that with the help of #VoiceStudios I want to help foster. In Oceanside I have been honored with countless opportunities from performing at over 10 live venues all through Los Angeles, Santa Ana, Compton, Hollywood, and Longbeach to professional recording studios who have given me the chance to record my music properly. California has really been my most major geological growth factor even while I was producing music on my own in Okinawa, Japan, I didn’t get this much love and support. I am exhilarate to announce that California has accepted me as one of their own. As far as where I would like to go to perform I would have to say Top City (Topeka, Kansas) so I can pay homage to my roots and then my dream would be to perform in South Korea. I think it would be really cool to work with one of the K-Pop artists and promote something positive. Those K-Pop artists are idolized by so many youth it’s ridiculous, if I could team up with one of them and get global literacy achieved or one stop closer to being a reality then I would know my music really is where my heart is.
I feel the music business isn’t transparent enough.
There are more fraudulent agencies attempting to steal money from talented artists than there are actual talent recruiters. Music is as demanding as a sport when it comes to making this a lifestyle, why are there so many sport recruiters and so few music scouts? It’s an unpredictable business that is not for the easily swayed. To make it in this industry you have to have a skull so thick you can keep pushing when everybody else has lost faith in you, you must have such educated selective hearing you can decipher who is trying to help you for you or who is trying to give you advice to hurt you and finally you have to be willing to be told the worst about your music and still walk out of the conversation with your head high. It’s harder being a public rap artist than anything else I’ve ever had to do in my life.
With as many experiences as I have had in the past
with this music that it’s hard to narrow it down to a few but some major cons I almost always run into is: False promoters, fair-weather fans who leave as soon as you look weak, and pessimistic friends who I have had to cut ties to. Some of the pros: I have received countless messages talking about how I have changed their life and if it wasn’t for my music they wouldn’t be here today, so I would say touching peoples lives would by far be the biggest pro and ultimately the only one worthy enough of being on this list.
It may sound odd at first but I air my struggles publicly.
My fan base, #VoiceNation, has a very personal relationship with me as an artist and when I go through a difficult time in my life then #VoiceNation is going through it with me. When the situation is overcome then #VoiceNation and myself all feel the victory in it. So every learning curve I go through is a struggle and after the lesson is taught, for me and the amazing #VoiceNation, we all feel the triumph in the journey.
This question was difficult at first but the more I thought
about it I wouldn’t want to waste an opportunity on just any artist in the industry, I would choose Aliaune Damala Badara Thiam (Akon). He has changed the lives of so many people with such selfless devotion to his cause I can’t help but get inspired by him. I would ask him how hard it was to keep going and how he persevered so that I can follow in his footsteps. I would ask him who he looked up to so that I too could be inspired by my role models role model. I would ask him what he thought of potential and what factors genuinely influence it. Lastly, I would ask him if there was still time to make a song together and use it to boost the movement of the #VoiceStudios project.
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